We think we know our parents, but how much do we know about how his life was before coming with us? Beyond his roles as “mother” or “father”, how well do we really know them? The truth is, they are not just our parents; They are also people. People with stories that we have never heard of, they have never shared emotions, and memories we were not part of it. Being a parents is just one dimension of his identity.

Sure, we can know their favorite color or how they take their coffee, but what is their greatest No regretsHis most proud moment? Those things they want can they do differently?

“Like -we grow up, it is important that we connect with our parents as adults and interact as a conversation,” Aimee Daramus, Psyd, A clinical psychological in Clarity Clinic, Chicago.

“Psychologically, this requires a change from seeing our parents as stable roles, such as ‘mother’ and ‘dad’, dynamic, for individuals,” Nigel Lester, MDA psychiatrist and director of mental health at Palm Health.

If you are eager about those who were before entering your parents ‘pictures and they are now like what they are liked outside their parents’ roles, then it is important to ask them the right questions to bring you closer. Here you are something to start:

Questions about childhood

1. What is your initial memory as a child?
2. What is a memory from your childhood that still smiles to you?
3. What books/movies/music did you like when you were younger?
4. What were your parents when you were children?
5. Did you have a relationship with your grandparents?
6. How was the school for you?
7. who was your best friend?
8. What did you want to be when they grow up?
9. What did you like as a teenager?
10. Have you ever broken the rules as a child? What trouble did you have?

Questions about love

1. Who was your first crush, and what happened?
2. Have you dated anyone before [Mom/Dad],
3. What did you notice before [Mom/Dad] When you meet them?
4. who asked?
5. When did you know that they were One For you?
6. How was your wedding day?
7. What is your favorite memory [Mom/Dad],
8. Are you both about having children on the same page?
9. What are some challenges you have faced in your relationship [Mom/Dad],
10. What is your biggest fight [Mom/Dad] Is about?

Questions about life

1. What did you think your life will look at this age?
2. Will you give a piece of advice to your little self?
3. As you have grown up, you have learned something new about yourself?
4. What do you worry the most these days?
5. Do you bring the most happiness or peace these days?
6. Is there something that you always dreamed of doing, but not yet)?
7. You had to face the biggest challenge in your life that you eventually overcommate?
8. Is there something that you want to do different work in your life, or a way you want you to take?
9. Which life lesson did you learn in a difficult way?
10. How do you want to spend your next few years?

Questions about work

1. What was your first task?
2. What has been your favorite job/project so far?
3. Do you ever have a guardian who has guided your career?
4. What is your biggest professional victory?
5. Do you regret your career?

Questions about the world

1. When you were growing up, it is better than the world what the world is?
2. What do you remember from “The Old Days”?
3. Is there any change in society or technology that still blows your mind?
4. What was considered “normal” when you were small that would now be shocking?
5. What do you praise about today’s generation?
6. What about the modern world that you don’t understand now?
7. What shape the world events gave to your generation’s way of thinking?
8. Are you worried about the direction in which the world is going?
9. What do you expect for the future?
10. Have you ever experienced culture shock?

Questions about you

1. When did you find out that you are doing me?
2. What do you remember the most about the day I was born?
3. How did you choose my name?
4. What was my first impression as a child?
5. What is my favorite memory?
6. What were some of your most difficult moments as parents?
7. What was the most rewarding part of paternity for you?
8. Does my birthday bring back special memories to you?
9. Have you ever seen me a moment and thought, “Wow, they have really grown up”?
10. What were your expectations and dreams for me when I was growing up?

Questions about their legacy

1. What do you want people remember about you?
2. What is something you hope to take forward in life?
3. What would you like to tell the future generations of our family?
4. What are you most proud of?
5. What is the change that you still want to make in the world?

Why is it important to see our parents as people

It is important for our parents to see as people, only as provider, protector, or rule-makers-for some reasons:

• Connection makes: You can’t really connect with someone you see in only one role. When you ask your parents about their passion, friendship, regrets and dreams, you open the door deep conversation,
• Enriches our identity: Our parents play an important role in our history. By understanding their personal visits, we get a deep insight in our roots, cultural heritage, and IdentificationThis can help us understand that the way we are, they are both good and bad, and provide a framework for our personal development. “It is our rich to achieve insight into our parents’ inner life sense of identity Dr. Lester says, “and provides a valuable perspective on the difference -related threads that give us shape.
• Promotes emotional maturity: From a psychological point of view, recognizing our parents as individuals – with our own history, struggle, dreams and flaws – is an important milestone emotional development And self-awareness, Dr. Lester says. “Seeing our parents as an ideal caretaker or flawless authority data allows us to move forward as a child as a child as a child. This is an essential part of emotional maturity.”
• FOSTSERS Understanding: When we recognize that our parents have their stress, insecurity, and Past shockIt becomes easy to understand why they are the way they are. We start understanding that their choice and Parenting style Often stems from their own life experiences, upbringing, and social pressures faced by them.
• Outrage outrage: Dr. Lester says that many of us carry emotional lesions, without needs or frustrations contained in childhood. “Understanding the limitations of our parents in terms of our own life can reduce resentment, support forgiveness and make room for treatment.”
• Perspective adds: Learning about our parents’ experiences – what they feared, what they regretted, what they expected – can we reference to our decisions and development. Their stories can be our own mirrors in the way we had never expected.
• Mightigates International Trauma: Unknown experience and emotional patterns can be passed through generations. By understanding the past of our parents, we can identify these patterns Inter -stroke And consciously choose to address them, prevent them from ending in our own life and relationships.

Techauve

At the end of the day, our parents are complex people with whole life, dreams and stories, which were present before us entering the picture. We do not always get a chance – or by taking time out – really to learn them beyond the roles of our parents.

But when we ask, we open the door for deep connections and unexpected stories. Every question is a chance to do something new – not only about our parents, but about ourselves, our family and history shaped us.