In my 20s, I used to hang out with friends. some were childhood friendsSome were college friends, and some were Friends I met at workAs I had agreed in my 30s and 40s, some of them naturally got out due to naturally getting out, getting married, having children, changing career, or not sharing the ideas of similar interests and fun.

However, many of my long-term friendship has flourished despite the different paths of my friends and I have taken (although it tries). And during my about two decades of being a parents, I have established new friendship on the way, some dissolved and some are strong.

According to research, the development of my friendship is specific. A study found that after the age of 25, people start losing friends until the age of 45. From 45 to about 55, the number of our friends is stable.

“Some friendships will stick and do nothing, and it is not a will for you and your value or love. It is not a will for some friendship, and that’s why they were not the past. Daniel Baird JacksonFriendship teacher. “Sometimes new people used to come in our lives and they fit in their season where we are.”

How friendship develops for decades

During the years of the school-age class, people experience the same stages of life and connect through shared activities. As you enter your 20s, proximity to friendship becomes more pronounced.

“It often happens that people will report to be friends at work who are older than them. We spend a lot of time with these people, which we can grow to become friends due to relativity in career,” Kelly kitleLicensed clinical social worker. When people move to major cities, they can be more open to create new friends than those who live in one place for most of their lives, they say.

“It decreases about making new friendship and more Maintenance of friendship“Beyed Jackson says.

Friends who are not experiencing the events of equal life can start flowing. “And that’s fine,” Kitle says. “Anousy feelings are not required. We can accept this change as a common state in human development and who can express gratitude for friendship.”

Like -As you enter your 40s, people receive more intentionally with friendship that they have value and put energy due to this. Hoping And Aging parents care,

“We have also become More indifferent And in our past we can reach someone, ”Kitle says.

For friendship in your 50s, 60s and since retirement, you must have befriended people or parents of your children in your neighborhood, yet they begin to move or retire.

Kitley says, “meeting people in middle life can not be that liquid once through school or work. Finding equal ideologies in their community who enjoy a walking group, book club, voluntarily similar activities, helping people feel the feeling of purpose and less lonely.”

5 ways to maintain friendship despite the demands of life

If you feel that a friendship is slowly slipping or you are getting a difficult time, which is maintaining the friendship you have, then consider the following tips.

Determine your original people

If you are drawn for time, think who your top people are and focus on them. Baird Jackson says that his customers are Exit Often share that they feel guilty that they cannot connect with everyone and are tired because they are over-stored.

She says, “It may seem unknowingly to talk about friendship in such a technical and strategic way, but if you want to feel it is necessary … clarity and easily that you integrate friendship in your life,” she says.

Announce your intentions

Like romantic relationships, Baard Jackson says ask friends Be intentional About stay connected. For example, tell them that talking in every other month is not enough or you want to try to see each other more often. “It automatically increases purchases in from other people and reduces ambiguity,” she says.

Although this approach can be revealed as a great demand or unnecessary, she says, your friend can share the same feelings. “Some people … are trying not to look like a high maintenance
Friends, so they do not declare their desire for more time simultaneously. ,

Try to understand

Even if you are in a different season of life than those friends you want to catch, try to related
Presses in their lives they can be like taking care of children or parents.

“You are still looking for your friends, even though they don’t understand your challenges and desires,” says Baird Jackson. “Instead of ‘I don’t understand the details’ or’ I can’t relate anymore,” instead of getting caught in, it can still do a little work to show understanding, confirmation and care. “

While it can be easy to let friendship go just because the life of a friend is different from you
Changed, she says that think of the circumstances that have changed and how can you keep them from interfering in your friendship. “When we are our friends’ ‘others’, it becomes difficult to reconcile with him if we are like,” he is very different, “says Bearers Jackson.

Think about how you can navigate the situation. For example, if your friend is a new mother, ask yourself, “How can I give us some grace because we do not have the experience of being a friend, while that is that
Responsible for a child? ,

Get creative with how you roam together

The way you socialize with friends in your 30s, 40s, and it can be different from how you use time deficiency, obligations and changing interests in your 20s.

If an hour -long brunch is not an option, then include a monthly brain DinnerYou can also knock two things with a friend at a time. For example, walk together to catch, join a pickle league together, or volunteers at the same place.

,[Invite] Beyard Jackson says, “She says to you to go with you to go with you, when she fills you at her date,” says Bearerd Jackson. Bake the hangout in your life so that your friendship is not reduced
Quarterly Self-Report. ,

You can also schedule a weekly or monthly phone call or facetime. “Anything you can do to remove mental labor of trying to find out days and time that maintains work
Friendship is easy, “Beyard notes Jackson.

When the rest fails, create a point to send a text to your friend between an appointment or in an appointment or line at the grocery store, to send a lesson between infections from work to home. Kitley says something writing
As simple, “Hi, you’re thinking about. Hope you’re spending a good day” will tell your friend that you want that you want Stay connected,

Embrace healthy struggle

While many people think that there should be no final argument to make a friendship, Baard Jackson says that healthy conflict is a way to strengthen a friendship.

“I am definitely not encouraging anyone to join it, but we know from that research that people feel close to each other after being attached Healthy struggle“She says.

This means that if there are stress, disagreement, or uncertain feelings between friends, then bringing it up and working through it can make friends feel close. She says, “Whatever you are holding, she makes you uncomfortable, unseen, disappointed, rejects, whatever is, bring it up,” she says.

If doing so, the friendship ends, it may not be strong to start. “If you want Long -lasting friendshipThis is a place where you can share your needs, desires,
The goal, et cetera, says Beyard Jackson.

Take care

As the stages of life develop, they make friendship. With a little effort and flexibility, you can maintain and strengthen the friendship.